So like a lot of people I've made a few resolutions for 2017.
Unlike a lot of people none of mine revolve around health or fitness. I'm not saying it's a good or a bad thing, everyones resolutions are personal to them. Or should be anyway.
Here I share my 3 resolutions for 2017.
1. Uncouple my happiness from other peoples acceptance
For waaaay to long I've spent more time caring about what other people think of me than actually being happy.
Should I have my hair like this? What would they say about these jeans? Will anyone make negative comments about this shirt?
And I also realised I really need other people around to be happy. A lot of people crave some alone time. Me? I dread it. It's one of my biggest fears in life, truly.
If my partner goes out with friends for dinner I'm miserable as hell. I feel lonely and depressed and sit there like a big bag of wet fish feeling sorry for myself. If she goes away for a week then I'm pretty much mentally useless.
And also the frankly overwhelming feeling to try and help everyone all of the time resulting in no time for me and the almost inevitable feeling of being let down because I've gone out my way to help someone and when I need that repaid it isn't forthcoming. There's a lot of take take take in this world.
The basic reality is I'm not a social butterfly. I don't have a wide range circle of friends. I've got about 6, 4 of whom live about 2 hours away. It's not bad because I'd rather have 10 good friends who are there for me if I need them than 100 friends most of whom gossip about you or wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. So many people call others friends when they really aren't.
Anyway, I've spent ages neglecting building my own social circle and I'm really paying the price for that now. It's horrible feeling lonely.
So I've decided to be more selfish and make time for myself to do what I want, when I want, and not give a hoot about what other people think of that. If I want to play golf I'll do it. If I want to go for a weekend away playing toy soldiers with my friends I'll do it. Responsibilities permitting of course.
Note that doesn't mean turning into a one dimensional douchebag who has no time for anybody. It's about striking the right balance, a balance which for me has been way out of kilter for way too long.
2. Be present more and disconnect from my phone
Over Christmas I connected my phone to my laptop and this innocuous little box popped up asking if I would like to install the latest IOS. I said yes and promptly lost about 4 months worth of photos and messages...
It ended up factory resetting.
As part of that it disconnected all my emails and needed me to go through the process of re inputting the passwords and stuff so they would come back on line.
What was frankly bloody scary was that in the day I had them disconnected I must have tried to check them at least 30 times. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. I'd find myself hitting the email app without even thinking.
That's not healthy in anyones book.
I spent some time thinking about it and realised I'm so often on my phone looking at shite when I should be in the moment. Either playing with my kids, enjoying dinner with my partner, connecting with a friend whilst playing golf. You know what I mean.
I've got 2 amazing children who are funny, adorable and deserve my undivided attention. I never had that from my dad when I was a kid because he passed away. I could go at any minute thanks to genetics and I don't want to drop dead without really getting to know my kids and watching them develop.
So the phone usage has to drop. Before my kids grow old and I've missed it, before I realise that actually I know sweet FA about my partner or that she thinks I'm not interested in her and before I lose to Mark at golf again...
I'm going to switch emails off on my phone and have specific times of the day when I'll switch them on and check them, reply to anything that needs replying to and deleting the inevitable 60 junk emails I'll find I have.
Same for Facebook. People spend hours scrolling through it and it's just a waste of time and a huge distraction. I reckon 95% of people spend more time on there than they think. I know I do and I know my partner does.
So I'm going to check it once a day. I doubt I'll miss anything revolutionary on there.
3. Use my pockets of time more efficiently.
I realised I have so many pockets of time in my days and they are usually wasted flicking through emails, looking at Flakebook, playing stupid games on my phone, doing naff all.
If I used these productively it would be so much better. Film workouts, read training and nutrition articles, speak to someone and connect with them. Train myself so I'm not such a fat heffer. The list is endless.
Doing number 2 will help with number 3 but I'll be super tight on making sure that the 20 minute pockets aren't wasted which will result in huge productivity increases.
So that's my 3 resolutions for 2017.
What are yours?
Ps. I'm going to try and get a 4-pack too.... 😉